I'm trying to remain positive about this situation. It's difficult because the way things were working out here, it was like it was meant. Things just fell into place the way I wanted them. I was still a bit lonely, as in missing my old friends and my old lifestyle, but I couldn't have had that life for much longer anyway. This life was really good for me. I was growing creatively and felt nurtured and loved for the first time in my life. That's pretty hard to leave. I don't have a choice but to look forward to the next chapter. I feel defeated but trying to be optimistic.

Now I'll be home to help my mother. I won't worry about her as much anymore because I'll be there. My dad, despite his new-found weenie head attitude, will be more accessible for me from there.

Positive things:
walks with mom
desert thunderstorms
new beginnings

and I'm spent.

Right now it's just really hard to get past all the things I'm going to miss.

School is the biggest one. I really don't know what I'll do about school. I'm trying to find another school but the one in Phoenix will cost me 70K. There really isn't a program in my hometown. I would have to change my major to English, minor in Creative Writing. I suppose that wouldn't be so bad, but it really wasn't what I wanted. I want to write but I really wanted an art degree. So, either way I slice it, my true self and true dreams are on hold. Thanks Robb.