I have had to be selfish for the past week or so... I haven't had time to answer a lot of the email I've gotten nor read all the blogs I like reading. I've been sort of self-absorbed. Then the comment from yesterday sort of got me...

Kris tells me I'm amazing, all my other girlfriends have been saying the same things, like how strong I am. That was so wonderful to hear/read, but the thing is... those women are the amazing ones. I mean... Kris has *5* kids --Hell I freak about one little baby and she's got FIVE!!! And to read her stuff about being a mom, the amazing way she handles her children... how engaged she is with her kids, her struggles to get where she is and her fight for happiness. That's strength.

Then there's Carol, Denise, Andrea, Laura, Vic and Jo, just to name a few... they all are so fantastic. I'm lucky to have people like that in my life. My suffering seems like stupid whining when I think of all the struggles I've read about from them, from many of my fellow humans.

Then something amazing happened--I had this really close friend, Josh, several years ago when I lived in Baltimore. We were inseperable. We would often find ourselves reading the same book... unplanned. For nearly 3 years we were like that. Then suddenly when I moved to England he just basically ignored me.

I was really hurt. About 2 years later, I got an email out of the blue that he was getting married and wanted me to come to his wedding. Huh? I tried to be sort of polite about it but the whole time I was so confused.

Several other times he made efforts to see me and hang out but then would ignore me for months. I got frustrated. But when I wrote him and asked for help... he has really amazed me. He's really come through from help with my resume to offering me a place to stay if I want to go up there to do some interviews. He had 5 or 6 guys he works with rally around my qualifications and and work some magic on them. They've all offered to give my resume to their HR people.

I'm so grateful to have wonderful friends, fantastic humans, amazing women and such a fantastic family. I suppose all the pain and suffering tax I've been paying lately has helped fund this. Whatever it was... I'm just grateful.