my dogma biting my karma

A few years back I created the "White Trash" points system. I thought it was worthy of revisiting because it's really been on my mind of late.

I think it's been on my mind because a friend of mine is suffering terribly. She's kicking herself for making a bad decision. Well, I'm no stranger to bad decisions.... I'm talking REALLY bad decisions. Trusting people who should never even be trusted with a driver's license much less my life, yes that was me... I was so convinced that people thought like me, that no one would deliberately hurt me. Lies. To myself.



For a long time I felt as though I was trapped in an episode of Jerry Springer. My ex and all the people around me were just like those people. Trash.

The difference is that I probably deserved it. My first husband was a really nice guy but I treated him like dirt in a way. He wasn't very smart so I used that to cheat on him and lie like a rug most days. It only made karmic sense that someone would do the same to me after a time.

Now that I'm past all that, I often question my relationship now. It's far from perfect but it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had. We usually work at things... lately he's been working long hours due to the holidays but our life is quiet together, low on the drama factor. We talk about stuff even when it's hard to talk about. We support each other and do our best to keep the love alive. The questions I have are usually, "How did I deserve this?" but in a good way :)