Happy Christmas and shit.

The other day we had the "family Christmas" party at R's mom's. I spent 2 days cleaning her house for her and then the morning of the do I went down and helped her put everything together. Overall I had a good time but I felt trapped by some of the family.

R has a cousin who's a few years younger than we are. She's a lovely person, has a really wonderful heart... oh who am I kidding? She's really sort of a sycophant. I feel drained after any sort of exchange. She constantly seeks approval and has a terribly low opinion of herself and most everyone around her except her father. Cousin C tries to be charming but bless her heart, it comes out as just plain unadulterated attention-seeking/approval-begging.

The day after the party Cousin C phoned me to invite me to shop with her. No freakin' way I was going out shopping on a weekend. It's entirely crazy around here at Christmas time, just like I'm sure it's crazy everywhere. I politely thanked her but declined. We chatted for a few moments, during which I mentioned her father had liked the wine I chose. She jumped all over that, "WHAT KIND????" she nearly wrecked her car.

She'd love to convince everyone that she gives the best gifts and is the best daughter/sister/aunt/friend/etc. I know this isn't a malignant thing so I try to overlook it. I often feel like a shit, though, for not wanting to spend too much time around her. It's like that shitty guilty feeling you get when you say something bad about someone who's nice.