This has happened to me more times than I can count. Each time I ponder it, sometimes even stew. This time, I'm just not sure what to do.
There's a woman in my art class who acts like she knows everything. I have tried being polite, cordial, friendly, ignored her... and while I don't care what she thinks of me, truly I don't, I guess I just wonder what I did to deserve her enmity. She's not just a general bitch. Meaning she's nice to the other girls in the class. Nice to the guys. Hell she's nice to everyone but me. I'm not fussed, but it does make one wonder, "What's up her ass?"
Another woman... well I think her issue is one of "alpha-female"--a woman who insists on being the alpha female in any group setting and absolutely cannot deal with any woman who, a. doesn't play her little game or 2. could possibly be a threat or it could even be that she's just an extremely impolite person. It's probably the latter. She smiles and talks to all the people in our "cool kid" group but she's never even said hello to me... not even when we were introduced.
"Hey, have you met Groovy?"
"Yeah, I did," she replies, without even looking at me or acknowledging I'm in the room.
Is that some sort of game? If anyone had done that to me in the group of friends I had before, those women would have ganged up on her until she was nice or at least polite. And I would have demurred and likely walked away, never bothering to smile or speak to the woman again until she at least attempted to be human.
Women have the strangest little games they play with one another. Everything has to be a manipulation, everything a situation to be analyzed and played. Some sort of jockeying for position.
Frankly, I'm not like this. I don't waste my time with this crap. I suppose that comes from being somewhat successful in a man's world, but moreover, I just think it's stupid. The women I choose as my friends don't do this either... or at least they leave me out of it so I'm clueless if they do.
I mean really... the bottom line is that the relationships that matter are the only ones I should worry about, but doesn't this ever bug anyone else? I mean, come on!!! What's not to like? I'm a nice person, witty, intelligent, can be engaging at cocktail parties... even goofy in some ways... okay in lots of ways...
I think there's definitely something to be said for the way men are with each other... not so much the smacking each other on the ass after a good football play way of relating... but more like the way they could meet, hate each other, get in a fight and beat the shit out of each other... but the next night they're totally cool with each other, drinking beer and embracing each other as brothers. As long as it doesn't involve women, this is usually the case.
A lot of women are catty, self-serving and gossipy, never wanting anyone to have something they don't and girls usually must command all the attention from anyone.
Maybe it's just that I'm not sure how to deal with women outside of a professional situation anymore. It's simply not happened that I have many friends that I didn't work with or weren't somehow related to my profession. I never really had too many women friends who weren't married to my guy friends. Short of ignoring these silly girls, I don't really know what to do. Normally, I wouldn't give a crap, but if you have to deal with someone, spend a semester critiquing each other, working together for class... In the words of Reginald Denny... "can't we all just get along??"
1 comment:
This reminds me of a woman I used to work with. At my old job there were a lot more men than women. There was a group of guys I would go to lunch with every day. Often I was the only woman, but sometimes one or two other women would come with.
There was one girl, G. G was a very girly girl, always wore a ton of makeup, always tried to be the center of attention, etc. She was married, but loved being the center of attention of the guys in the office. They would joke around with her, saying sort of rude things in that jokey way where you know they don't mean it, and she would pretend to be all offended and say, "Guys, stop it," while smiling the whole time and being flirty.
The guys at work tended to treat me like one of them. They didn't always joke withe me like that. We would talk about sports and movies and stuff like that. I shared a lot of their interests, especially the sort of geeky ones that a lot of girls aren't into. This bothered G a lot because they treated me differently than they treated her. She would get annoyed if she came to lunch with us, and the topic turned to sports or anime or something she knew nothing about, instead of her getting to be pseudo-flirty. DID I MENTION SHE'S MARRIED? WTF?
She finally told another coworker of ours how much I annoyed her. She said, "Why does she talk about sports? What's she trying to prove? Why does she even watch sports" Probably because I'm a girl I'm not supposed to like sports, I'm just supposed to care about shopping and wearing too much makeup. Our other coworker, who likes me more than she likes G, said, "Well, because she's actually a sports fan." Of course the coworker told me about it, but not until way later. And even though I never liked G and we had nothing in common, I was really bothered that she said that about me. I don't know why.
Post a Comment