Words and actions...

what the hell is wrong with people? Okay maybe more specifically men? I know I shouldn't be, but I sort of started seeing someone. I figured it would be little else but a welcome distraction and an occasional ego boost. He's a nice enough dude, attractive, sweet. We became friends. Then for some reason he kept telling me how into me he was and how much he liked me. Little soon for me... I let him know this... so we're cool. That's nice.

Now, just to say why I'm bugged by this: for some reason seeing him for more than a couple of hours is like pulling teeth. I am not a freaky jealous person, but honestly I'm beginning to wonder if he's not married or seeing someone else. Strangely though I can call him nearly anytime (except during work hours) and he'll answer or call me right back. So... maybe he's just not as into me as he says. I don't care if he's seeing 50 other women... just don't LIE to me about it. And if he's married... yeah it's a NO GO.

And it's not that I'm angry... disappointed is more the word. Disappointed that he doesn't try harder to see me, disappointed that he's telling me what I want to hear rather than the truth. Maybe I have a difficult time acknowledging that he really is busy since when I call him he's doing things like: hanging out watching a movie, sleeping, driving to Tucson to play poker, playing on line poker... And every time I've made the effort to see him he's turned me down. when someone really likes you they really want to see you right? They should make an effort even if it's only for a half an hour.

I didn't think my expectations were all that high but maybe I'm just a bitch. I never believed myself to be high-maintenance. Maybe I am the worst kind (as defined by Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally"--"You're the worst kind... you think you're low maintenance but really you're high maintenance." )

We'll see what happens. It's just that when a guy turns down chances to see his potential girlfriend, or often says "Let's do.... whatever" and then forgets or cancels on you... yeah that's not the behavior of a dude who's into ya. I should just tell him to bugger off or call me when he can find the time. But yeah... I think I might be over-reacting. And then I'm just super-psycho bitch. Such a joy am I.